iyazo's Online Journals and Diaries

Journal Entries (Back to Profile)

Nightmares

I didn't sleep very well. I kept waking up from nightmares, even though I started taking my clonadine again, they wouldn't stop. I started waking up around 2-3am, would fall asleep for another little while, and repeat. Some of the dreams were bizarre, some were violent, all were in some way either s...

1 - Views: 487

Comments: 5 Words: 865

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 15, 2021

Family, Stopped

Well... Last night I thought I was finally making some progress with food, so I took another anti-nausea pill and drank a meal replacement drink... Bad idea. The applesauce did not approve of this. I did manage to eat some more cheerios after that awful occurrence, which settled my stomach down slig...

Comments: 4 Words: 1606

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 14, 2021

Errand Day

Today Scott was supposed to pick me up and run errands. He said if I didn't hear back from him by 3:30 to call, which I did. He still hasn't replied, actually... I was a little nervous about leaving the house because I realized that Jena actually wasn't home. I thought I was actually completely home...

Comments: 0 Words: 1109

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 13, 2021

Weakness

I'm probably past the point where I should be in the hospital. And this time I mean the regular hospital, not the behavioral hospital (I'll add a picture so you can see what I mean...setting the first pic as Koya so no one accidentally gets upset about how malnourished I am). Despite that, I keep pu...

1 - Views: 642

Comments: 9 Words: 1022

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 12, 2021

Lost, Continue

Yesterday when I wasn't feeling so well I received a series of strange texts from my friend Scott. I think at one point there were like 7 in a row because I was either getting sick or fell back asleep, but it was all worrying stuff like "I'm sorry," "I gotta go" and skull emojis. I finally replied b...

1 - Views: 517

Comments: 4 Words: 1476

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 11, 2021

The Hopeless Feeling of Packing Your Life Away

The worst combination is feeling sick while hungry. I haven't been able to eat, though I can mostly manage to keep down my pills and water again which is good. The trick was waiting until my ambien kicked in a little bit, making me more tired and hungry, and then I would just eat as much trail mix a...

1 - Views: 428

Comments: 0 Words: 1059

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 10, 2021

Legwork

Today I felt incredibly sick. I was dry heaving, not having anything in my stomach at all. I guess I really am sick. Either from food poisoning or stress. I'm at a point where my energy and stamina is so incredibly low and moving around too much makes me feel ill. I can't run out my time here like t...

1 - Views: 541

Comments: 2 Words: 1262

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 9, 2021

The Rabbit in the Snare

Good news: I did receive my $1200 stimulus today! I still have my fundraiser posted because every little bit is going to help me tremendously, but I felt with that a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I'll have enough to cover rent somewhere for a while, or.... more than likely just storage spa...

1 - Views: 478

Comments: 2 Words: 1127

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 7, 2021

Catastrophizing

I haven't gotten much done the past few days. I'm running low on weed to keep me calmed down. Every time I close my eyes when I'm awake I see another nightmare of what could happen to me if I'm not accepted at either house. It's getting out of control. It's a paralyzing fear. Maybe it's just because...

Comments: 2 Words: 420

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 6, 2021

Interview With Shippen House

This morning I woke up in time for church. I lingered for a little while after to wish everyone a happy Easter, and then I went back to sleep for a bit. I was surprised I was able to fall asleep again since the sun had risen. When I woke up again it was time for my zoom meeting with the people at Sh...

Comments: 2 Words: 486

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 4, 2021

Opinions, Loss

After a month or so of waiting, I FINALLY had therapy today. I told her about what Glitch and Jena did to me, being in the hospital, being abducted, and about the two houses. She seems to think that if I wait for Shippen House it would be really good for me to live in a supportive household, I just ...

1 - Views: 471

Comments: 0 Words: 847

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 3, 2021

4th st and the Shippen House

I went to go see the first place today which isn't too far from where I currently am over on 4th st. It was a pretty small house, but the room was really big and nice- also free huge dresser I guess? The guy said something about having to interview more people and in my experience that's never a goo...

1 - Views: 509

Comments: 2 Words: 1275

iyazo (Lvl. 31) - April 1, 2021

iyazo's profile

Profile

Journal Entries (Back to Profile)